


There Is Nothing More

by Awkihiko



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-04-12 04:52:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4466099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkihiko/pseuds/Awkihiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugawara's love is generous, and there are very few worse things than giving generously but receiving nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discipline

Closeness wasn't enough. Suga could be plastered to Daichi's skin by fate, but he wouldn't feel full. They were seen as a package deal; Daichi resembled Karasuno's discipline, while Sugawara was its encouragement. Hinata took little time to see them as parental figures, along with being upperclassmen.

Despite this, Sugawara felt miles of distance between himself and his teammate. He was Daichi's best friend, but that wasn't what he wanted; he needed to be more. During practices he imagined what it'd be like to kiss his tanned neck after practice. He wanted to know the feeling of Daichi's calloused fingers laced between his own; giving eachother small squeezes as they neared home, climbing into bed and staring into each other's eyes as they felt exhaustion stilling their thoughts, legs tangled and bodies warm.

" _Focus_." Having to constantly wake himself up from his daydreams was becoming a nuisance. How many tosses had he missed today? It was enough to warrant a glare from Tanaka and a concerned look from Daichi. "Sorry!" Suga gave a weak smile and set his mind back to the scrimmage match.

"Don't mind!" Daichi reassured Suga and the team's structure returned immediately. Suga was working on his skills as a libero to keep the team rounded, and he was gradually improving, that is when Daichi wasn't in his view.

Watching Daichi move was so enticing. He was in the spiker's position, jumping to meet Kageyama's sets. When he jumped, his shirt rose enough to reveal his abdomen glimmering in sweat. It felt wrong to stare at the line of hairs traling downwards from his bellybutton, but Suga's eyes drank the sight for as long as he was allowed.The ball crashed down on the opposing side, giving them the final point to win the match. Hinata danced towards Daichi, screaming compliments at him. Daichi gave him a humble smile before catching Suga's gaze. He continued to listed to Hinata's squealing, but stared at Suga as he began to clean the gym. He sensed a change in his usually ecstatic mood weeks ago, but Suga simply denied when he brought it up.

"And when you went up, it was like FWOOOOOOOO! I was like, GWOA! The ball hit the floor, like BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! And I said, WO-!"

"Thanks, Hinata; good job today! You should get home, though. Sugawara and I will clean up." Daichi waved to Hinata as he walked towards Suga, leaving Hinata to walk home with Kageyama.

Suga pushed the cart filled with volleyballs towards the shed, Daichi following behind with the scoreboard. Just the presence of Daichi made Suga's skin hot. Was it always this way? No, there was a time he had felt nothing but joy around Daichi, but the sudden change made things difficult. Suga pushed the cart silently, despite the feeling of Daichi's eyes burning into the back of his head. He stepped into the shed and placed the cart in the corner, hesitating to turn around.

"Suga?" He feigned happiness to face Daichi's concerned expression. "I know I'm bothering you with this, but are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course! I'm just not used to being Libero, but I'll get the hang of it eventually-."

"You're doing fine." Suga's eyes widened as Daichi's turned from one of concern to sadness. "It's alright if you miss a couple tosses. I'm worried because you're different outside of practice. You don't text me as often as you used to, and you've been skipping out on lunch." He was right, but Sugawara pretended he hadn't noticed, as if he would accidentally forget to do the things he once did religiously.

"I guess I've been busy. It's our last year here; I want to prepare for my future the best I can!" He tried to fake an assuring smile, but Daichi was still staring at him like there was something more. 

There _was_ something more. Sugawara knew there always would be; Daichi wasn't someone he could just get over. And knowing he'd have to pretend his feelings for Daichi for platonic made his throat tighten. The fear of never speaking to Daichi after high school started hitting him as they stood in silence.

"If you say so." Daichi broke the stagnant discomfort and started making his way out of the shed. Suga followed him outside the gym, stopping when he saw her.

Daichi draped an arm around his girlfriend, walking down the hill; the same way he used to walk with Suga. When he was sure he wouldn't be able to tell, Suga let a few tears stream down his cheeks as he tried to look at anything but Daichi.

"Sugawara!" A call from the bottom of the hill forced him to look at Daichi's distant figure. "Text me when you're free, okay?"

"Okay!"

"You promise?"

Suga gave Daichi a thumbs up as he walked away; tears rushing down his cheeks. He trudged home, taking a different path than usual to give himself time alone. The lights in his house were off when he arrived, meaning his mother was sound asleep. Wiping the tears off of his cheeks, Suga fell onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. The hurricane in his mind was fierce and it was taking every bone in his body not to text Daichi.

The gray phone on his bedside table was tempting him, making his fingers ache. He picked it up and scrolled through every message he had from Daichi. It had been ten days since he last replied. Temptation took over as he typed every word he could think of to describe his affections. He threw the phone on his mattress, staring at the long message waiting to be sent. It could all be over. All he would have to do is push _one_ button.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Straight Daichi will be the death of me, and probably Suga.


	2. Slow Motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature content ahead (lead-in to possible smut). If any kiddos are reading this...cover your eyes at the end...or something.

Suga’s hands ran through his hair, disheveling it as he tried to convince himself to press send. He felt his stomach churn and roll as he stared at the glowing phone laying on his sheets. He needed Daichi to know everything that raced through his mind when he saw him, but his heart stung at the thought of being rejected. Daichi is happy with his girlfriend, and even if he wasn’t, he was straight, as far as Suga knew, so they wouldn’t work out anyway. The stinging in his heart progressed to a throbbing pain. He deleted the message and shoved his face in a pillow, dropping onto his bed with a pained sob.  
Morning tried to pry Suga from his bed, but it would take a crane to move him. His arms were lead and his heart weighed a ton; even Daichi himself wouldn’t be able to move him. Craning his head slightly, his puffy eyes gazed at the phone he haphazardly threw on the floor. It rang endlessly, probably from Tanaka asking if he would be at practice. Suga hopelessly stared at the ceiling and rubbed his eyes, considering skipping practice to cry some more. A knock on his door interrupted Sugar’s pity party, as his mother entered his room with a tray of food.  


“Sweetie?” Suga covered his eyes with his arm to cover his red and puffy eyes as his mother entered his room. “Here’s your breakfast!”  
Suga thanked her with fake enthusiasm, still covering his eyes.  


“…Are you alright?”  


“Ah, yeah, I’m fine! My eyes are a bit sensitive today. I probably have a migraine or something.”  


“Are you sure? Do you want any medicine?”  


“No, I’ll be alright in a while, don’t worry!” She was worried, though. Suga’s mom knew him too well to believe him. Despite this, she knew he wasn’t telling her for a reason, so she put it in the back of her head.  


“Alright, honey. Sorry, I burnt your eggs again.” She placed the tray on his bedside table and picked up his phone. “It looks like Tanaka has been calling you.”  


“He’s probably wondering if I’ll be going to practice.” She placed the phone in his sprawled out hand and left his room. Sighing, Suga brought his arm away from his eyes and looked at his phone.  


“Geez, Tanaka.” 20 missed calls and 10 texts. If it were anyone else, Suga would be worried, but knowing Tanaka, he figured it wasn’t an emergency. He calmly called Tanaka, only to be greeted by screaming.  


“HEY.” Tanaka’s voice nearly busted Suga’s eardrums from the other end of the phone.  


“What’s wrong, Tanaka?”  


“YOU’RE LATE FOR PRACTICE.” Suga sighed and put him on speaker in attempt to save his hearing.  


“Is that alright? It’s just one practice, you’ll be alright without me.”  


Tanaka was suddenly silent. Daichi could be heard on the other end amongst the sound of volleyballs smacking the ground. For a moment Sugar considered going. Daichi would be concerned if Suga didn’t show up; he hardly misses practice for anything. He would go for Daichi, but the image of Daichi’s girlfriend sitting on the bench, watching him with the same wonder as Suga made his heart ache again.  


“Ok.” Tanaka finally responded with an obvious tone of dejection. “I was just thinkin’, we could all get together afterwards. We have a game coming up, and I wanted to psych the team up. You always give the best speeches, y’know?”  


Suga couldn’t help but smile wide at Tanaka’s compliment. For once, Tanaka was being genuinely kind, without trying to make himself look good. He decided it wouldn’t hurt to show up to help his teammates; it’d be selfish not to.  


“I’ll come celebrate for you, Tanaka.”  
“

ALRIGHT! WE’RE GOING TO HADACHI’S! BRING YOUR APPETITE!” As if at the flick of a switch, Tanaka started yelling again. Suga assured Tanaka he would be there before saying goodbye and prying himself out of bed. For his mother’s sake, he ate the food she cooked, despite not being hungry. Leaving a few pieces of eggs and a half-full glass on his tray, Suga took the tray downstairs before taking a shower.  
Karasuno’s match against Aobi was nearing, and nerves were high, to say the least. As he washed his hair, Suga couldn’t stop thinking about what he was missing at practice. He found himself missing his raucous teammates; their bickering, Tanaka’s mischief, and Daichi’s…well, everything. Shaking his head, he tried to shake the thought of Daichi from his brain. Despite his efforts, Suga’s mind wandered to the way Daichi moved during practice. Suga never understood how it was possible to look so attractive when drenched in sweat, but Daichi made it look fashionable. Every move he made resulted in a flex of his muscles; veins in his arms bulging in response. It was no wonder why Daichi was exhausted after every match. He gave his all consistently, and without hindrance. His expressions are what makes Suga shiver, though. Determination made his eyebrows furrow, lips purse, and eyes shoot daggers at the ball. It was a curse and a blessing for Suga, but he drank it in like honey. Staring out into space, his mouth watered at the image of Daichi staring at him with the same determination. A feeling of guilt hid behind his bliss as he remembered the rough quality of Daichi’s hands.  


The water rushed over his form, relaxing his muscles and his mind. He had a tendency to lose track of time in the shower; he could stand in it for hours. But, his team was waiting for him, so he begrudgingly left the comforting warmth of the shower and stepped out into the cool air. He dried off and dressed himself before leaving his house and greeting the colorful autumn afternoon. Suga loved walking during autumn; the leaves were beautiful colors, the air was cool, and everything around him was changing. Autumn reset everything that had happened during the year, and Suga felt a cleanse was perfectly appropriate for his situation. The stagnant air of his small town made it easy for him to daydream on his walks; he much preferred small towns to cities like Tokyo. Daichi would disagree; he preferred the bustle of cities and the rushing atmosphere, but he typically accompanied Suga on his walks around town. Suga’s memory faded back to the walks they had together; the air between them was peaceful, but the nagging urge to hold Daichi’s hand distracted him from the beauty of the changing leaves surrounding them. Even as he walked alone, he imagined what it would be like to lace their fingers together, slightly squeezing Daichi’s hand and earning a gentle squeeze in return.  


As he approached the restaurant, he felt his stomach turn. Daydreaming about Daichi used to bring Suga joy, but knowing the dreams would never come true made his eyes water and his stomach turn in knots. Hinata’s bike was parked outside Hadachi’s, and Suga was reminded of his role in the team. Everyone relied on him to emanate positivity, and he refused to let his underclassmen see his bothered nature. He greeted the woman at the desk and followed her directions to his friend’s seats. They weren’t hard to find in the filled restaurant; Nishinoya’s cheering could be heard from across the room.  


“SUGAAAA!” Nishinoya let out a scream that resembled a battle cry, earning a soft smile from Suga as he found his seat across from Daichi. The team greeted him one-by-one, each with enthusiasm.  


“Suga,” Hinata leaned forward to look at Suga from the other end of the table. “Why weren’t you at practice? There’s an important game tomorrow-!” Hinata ended his sentence abruptly as Daichi’s gaze bore into him.  


“I wasn’t feeling very well, but I’m ready for the match tomorrow. We’ve been working hard, and we should be fine as long as we keep focus!” Suga’s smile seemingly lit up the room as his team members cheered in response. Daichi’s eyes softened as his team started to browse the menu. Suga felt his eyes searching his expression, but he refused to look up from his menu in fear of meeting Daichi’s gaze. He couldn’t focus on ordering with the lump in his throat increasing in size as Daichi’s arm reached across the table to tap Suga’s arm.  


“Suga,” Daichi kept his voice low, eyes trying to meet Suga’s as they tried to focus on anything but his face. “What’s going on?”  


“Hello, are you all ready to order?” Before Suga could think of a lie, a waitress approached them with a pen and notepad, jotting down orders and struggling to keep up with the raucous boys. It came to be Suga’s turn and he had no idea what he wanted. He apologized for being unprepared before Daichi cut in and ordered for him.  


Of course he knew exactly what Suga would want. When the waitress left the table, the noise picked up to its previous volume and Daichi was distracted from his previous question. He sat in silence unless he was spoken to; Hinata nagged at him, asking what he could do to make him happier before being veered away from the conversation by the loud banter being exchanged by his other teammates. Suga felt small in the crowded restaurant. He should have stayed home, and he shouldn’t have let Daichi see his change in mood. Throughout the night, Daichi glanced back at Suga, expecting him to add to the conversation, only to be met with a meek smile. He hardly ate his food, yet he spent the whole night staring at his plate rather than joining his teammates in their pre-game celebration.  


As the sky outside turned black, the boys left the restaurant and went their separate ways with full stomachs and high hopes for their match the next day. However, Daichi insisted on following Suga back to his house, regardless of how many times he refused. They walked down the same path they usually did -before Suga distanced himself- but the air was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Daichi glanced at Suga several times, expecting him to finally speak up and admit that something was wrong, but Suga stared ahead, as if he were in another world.  


“You can’t keep everything inside, Sugawara.” Daichi broke the silence as they reached Suga’s doorstep. Suga couldn’t do anything but smile. His eyes were sorrowful and threatened to spill all the tears he had held in throughout the night, but his lips turned upwards in an attempt to mask his pain. “I’m your best friend; I know when you aren’t happy, and the team is catching on too.”  


“I’m sorry, Daichi.”  


“Just tell me what’s going on. We’re worried about you, and you know I’m always gonna be here for you, right?”  


Suga sucked in his lip to nibble at the flesh as he thought of the right thing to say. Daichi’s stare was stern and unfaltering, and it only pushed the tears brimming his eyes out onto his cheeks. His eyes squeezed shut and despite his efforts, he let himself breakdown in front of his best friend. Daichi’s hands grabbed onto his shoulders as he repeated Suga’s name as if it were a question. His hands rubbed Suga’s shoulders gently before moving upwards to cup his face, callouses brushing against the soft skin of his cheeks and wiping his tears. Judgement was slipping out of Suga’s grasp as his hand moved to rest on top of Daichi’s. He opened his eyes and noted the way Daichi’s lips thinned when he frowned. Concern was painted across his face as if it were a canvas, but all Suga wanted was relief. He had waited too long for the perfect moment, and he refused to waste his days wondering any longer.  


Their eyes met as Suga leaned forward, closing the space between them. Daichi was initially unresponsive, but the pain clouding Suga’s mind prompted him to move his lips against Daichi’s, taking in their shape as he had always dreamt of doing. The thoughts of concern swimming through Daichi’s head since dinner finally halted, as did his movements. Only after Suga backed away, he felt himself holding Suga’s cheeks with a sudden need. Suga opened his mouth in an attempt to apologize and explain himself, but he was silenced by the pressure of Daichi’s lips against his own, a whirlwind of emotions dizzying him.  


He fumbled for the key in his pocket as Daichi’s lips moved with more intensity before locking his front door and fumbling inside, Daichi following behind him. They were moving in overdrive, as if the moment would leave them if they separated for too long. Suga parted their lips for a gasp of air before climbing the steps to his bedroom with Daichi’s hand tugging on the hem of his shirt. Their movements were rushed and needy, but everything moved in slow motion when their skin met the sheets of his bed; Daichi stopped to look at the satisfaction growing in Suga’s eyes, before giving him a solemn smile and continuing as intended, heavy sighs filling the air between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy.


	3. Comfort of A Ssecret

Sunlight pooled through the curtains, painting Daichi’s tanned skin gold as he lay beside Suga. Suga’s face was peaceful; mouth hanging open as shallow breaths pushed through them, tickling the skin on his arm and sending goosebumps along Daichi’s body. A dull panic rose in his chest at the memory of the night before. Their legs tangled and breaths rushed, confessions coming out in the form of groans and purple bruises decorating one another’s skin. The memory overwhelmed his senses, sending another chill down his spine. The guilt of betrayal mingled with the fond memory as he imagined the way his girlfriend would react to his absence.  


The whole situation was laughable within that moment. Daichi had assured her she was as much as a priority as the team, yet he was lying beside his best friend, bare and warm in each other’s embrace, rather than that of his girlfriend’s. The guilt picked at him until he decided to leave, gingerly lifting Suga’s head off his bicep and rising to clothe himself. Suga stirred slightly when Daichi opened the door, halting him in his tracks to stare back at his form, peacefully tangled in blankets. His heart wrenched as he closed the door gently and made his way down the steps.  


“Daichi?” Suga’s mother met him at the stair’s foot, tray of breakfast in hand.  


“Good Morning, I was just helping Suga with our college prep class and time got away from us, I guess.” Nervousness caused a chuckle to slip past his lips, along with his obvious lie.  


“That’s fine, Daichi. You know you’re always welcome here.”  


“Thank you.” Her smile seemed all too knowing. Daichi’s face was hot from embarrassment, knowing the condition in which she would find Suga. “He’s still asleep.”  


“I figured.” Daichi’s eyes threatened to bulge out of his skull, causing Suga’s mother to laugh before moving past him towards Suga’s room. “He’s been sleeping in lately, so I’m not surprised. Especially since you were both up all night working, right?”  


Pure embarrassment glued his mouth shut, reducing his response to a simple nod.  


“Well, take care of yourself, Daichi. You’re building a hefty collection of bruises from playing too rough. You and Suga need to look out for each other.”  


“Yes Ma’am.”  


A cloud hung over Daichi’s head as he rushed out of Suga’s house, heading back to his own home in hopes of gaining clarity surrounding the situation. The whole thing would have been comical, if the circumstances were different. Suga’s mother saw the bruises clear as day, and you would have to be blind not to. How could he cover them up? Should he even have to?  


The thought of breaking up with his girlfriend swam through Daichi’s mind, destroying all other possibilities. At one point he loved her just as much as he loved his team, but his love for Suga overruled any inclinations towards her. His feelings towards Suga were muddled, along with his own identity. Never had he fallen for someone so fast, specifically someone of the same gender. He found it impossible to disregard his confusing, yet obvious feelings for his best friend, and his refusal to hurt him or his girlfriend any further gave him a single option.

When he arrived home, his phone buzzed, showing his girlfriend’s name across the screen. Cursing to himself, he accepted the call, prepared to be completely honest with her.  


“Yeah?”  


“Daichi? Where were you this morning?” He decidedly remained silent, thinking of the best way to explain himself. “I came by this morning. We were supposed to go for ice cream, remember? Your dad told me you were with your team. Again.”  


“We had to talk about the match today.” The lie slipped through his lips without hesitance, causing him to cringe at his own voice. “We were having a hiccup in the team’s morale. I had to make sure we were all ready, I am their captain after all.”  


“Daichi, you know I don’t like fighting with you.” He simply grunted in response, sensing the tone of their previous argument creeping into the conversation. “But, this is the second time you’ve cancelled on me! I don’t want to sound like the ‘clingy girlfriend’ type, but I miss you.”  


“I miss you too.” His heart stopped at the realization that he was lying to her for the second time, without any indication. So much for being honest.  


“We can make this work, right?”  


“I think we need to talk.”  


“Yeah, me too. We have to stay level-headed and fair, right Daichi?” Her desire to stay with Daichi despite his incompetence only magnified the pain of the ordeal.  


“Of course. We can do that.”  


“I’ll come to the game to make up for lost time.” Daichi’s heart stilled before circling a bruise adorning his collarbone.  


“That’s good, I’ll be doing my best for you.” Another lie.  


“Okay…I love you.” Reluctance coated her voice and Daichi couldn’t control the sigh that pushed through his lips.  


“I love you too.”  


I love you. Daichi had lied to her three times within their conversation, each one making it easier for him to say his next lie. But those words hit him like a train. They passed through gritted teeth, punctuating the phone call. He prided himself on being truthful, yet he fed her lies like they were candy.  


Daichi grabbed his uniform from his room and made his way towards the school. The entirety of his team awaited him, each member piling into the van to attend their match with Aobajōsai. Suga sat in his usual spot next to Daichi, hardly acknowledging him as he spoke with the other members freely. It was as if they swapped personalities, Daichi becoming the uncharacteristically quiet one while Suga chatted with the team in high spirits. Halfway through the trip to Aobajōsai, Suga glanced at Daichi, only giving him a small nod accompanied by a smile. Immediately, Daichi’s demeanor softened, and he found himself lightly pressing his fingertips to Suga’s thigh, noting a dull magenta spot adorning his collarbone. Suga ghosted his fingers over Daichi’s, gently moving them away from his thigh before leaning to press his lips under his ear.  


“We need to talk, right?” Proximity caused goosebumps to rise on his neck as Suga’s breath danced over his skin, much like the night before.  


“When we get to Aobajōsai?” Suga nodded before averting his attention to Kageyama, who was trying to get comfortable in the limited space between Hinata and the wall.  
The air between the two was static rather than awkward, much to Daichi’s dismay. It was hard for him to focus on anything but the tips of Suga’s fingers, idly resting against his knee, as his newfound desire to be closer to Suga latched onto his brain. It nagged at him; his girlfriend would be at the match, looking for him, yet he only cared about Suga’s presence.  


“Daichi?” Asahi’s expression was painted with concern, turned towards Daichi so his knees were in the aisle of the bus. “Are you alright?”  
He nodded in response, a serious gaze assuring Asahi it was nothing to fret over.  


“Ah, I just wanted to make sure. It isn’t like you to be so quiet, but if you’re sure you’re fine, I’ll leave it be.” Asahi’s expression softened into a smile before turning back to Nishinoya, leaving a nervous feeling in Daichi’s stomach upon the realization that he was easier to read than he initially thought.  


Suga’s fingers moved to pinch Daichi’s thigh lightly, conversing with Tanaka in the seat in front of him whilst tending to Daichi’s frazzled nerves. His touches were subtle, but they were calming and hazardous at the same time. With every touch, Daichi could feel himself drawing closer to Suga, despite his guilt and inner turmoil. His fingers played up along his knee and rested at the hem of his shorts before smoothing circles along a magenta bruise on his inner thigh. Daichi welcomed the touch and took his actions as an example for how he should act. He scooted over so their shoulders were touching, allowing Suga to lean onto him, as he decided to talk to Hinata in the seat beside him.  


In that moment, he felt he could live with a secret. He could live with being someone he thought he wasn’t, he could live with finding bruises on each other’s skin that only they knew about, he could live with the encompassing comfort that Suga harbored; he could thrive on Sugawara’s love. If only moments could last forever, along with the safety of a secret.


End file.
